Embrace loserdom. Be the messy girl in the sitcom. I’m watching New Girl at the moment and I can’t help but be so impressed by how profoundly unsuccessful the characters are. Obsessed with Rachel Green working in a cafe in her thirties, with Lily from How I Met Your Mother ending up making paintings for pets. If twenty one was my Rory Gilmore era, I now feel I embody Fleabag, in like, a chill way.
Never show up to somebody else’s house empty handed. It’s nice to bring a packet of bickies, a bunch of cheap flowers, even just an old pack of cards to play and then take back home to you. As someone that hosts a lot, I can’t tell you the joy I feel when I get a little surprise a gift when my friends come over.
Listen to more music. Julie gave me this advice on the eve of my 22nd birthday and I think she’s right. When I’m studying or writing or hanging out with people I tend not to turn on music which is a pity because I’ve built a rather comprehensive CD and vinyl collection considering my age. As I write this I’m listening to Leave the Light On album by the Pillow Queens and I’ve lit some Nag Champa incense. It’s a better vibe than total silence, main light on. Make things vibey if you can.
Be happy. This won’t apply to everyone but I bet some people will know what I mean. Let me explain. This is the advice Leo gave to me turning 22 and there was a lot unsaid inside those two words. I have a tendency to stress myself out for literally no reason. Everything I’ve ever asked of the universe so far has happened. I live in a beautiful house, everyday I get to work on things I am passionate about, weed is so close to being legalised…I hope and I am surrounded by people who at least halfway care about me. It’s easy for me to forget how wonderful my life is and to sit back and enjoy it, which leads me to number five:
Get your tarot cards read. My lovely friend Siúin read my cards for me the day after my birthday and I have a 33 minute voice recording of us trying to figure out what they could mean. First of all, whether you get a friend to read them or go to a professional, it’s a really nice way of sharing your troubles in a somewhat light-hearted manner. It can be hard to bring up deep-ish conversation topics so tarot cards are a great crutch. Secondly, if you don’t “believe” in tarot (which quite frankly is a nonsense sentence but whatever), they are still a profoundly useful tool for self-reflection. I ALWAYS get the cards that encourage me to look back and see how far I’ve come, an important reminder! Especially on a birthday when you get caught up with the future, its important to be proud of the past.
Get a new haircut. I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re too old to be cutting your own damn hair. Plus you’ll never feel more like a princess than when you’re munching into a snack bar at the salon.
Buy yourself new perfume. I do this every year on my birthday and its a cute ritual. I cheated this year though and bought the same scent I bought last year. It’s dior and ridiculously expense but I love it.
Don’t be afraid to get too high. Again, this won’t apply to everyone and certainly you shouldn’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable. But a few nights ago I took like a millimetre of a gummy than what I usually take and then watched a nature documentary. It certainly felt a bit strange and I wouldn’t have wanted to take an important phone call that night but it also challenged me a bit and I felt so connected to the earth. I definitely plan to take shrooms this year. I just worry Gen Z is getting a little…puritanical. Guys remember: drugs are supposed to be fun!
Find a weird little hobby…but don’t get too into it! A big flaw of mine is that I tend to take the phrase “how you spend your days is how you spend your life” wayyy too seriously. Every time I pick up a new hobby I kind of make it my whole identity…for the rest of my life. I’m only really into like three things but I’m really into them. This year I want to pick up a low stakes hobby that I’m lowkey bad at.
Make your coffee at home. Look I want to be Carrie Bradshaw sipping disposable coffee cups in my own apartment on the Upper West Side, as much as the next girl. But unfortunately none of us are Carrie Bradshaw and if making coffee at home is good enough for Drew Barrymore, it’s good enough for us. Last year for Christmas, my mam got me an aeropress and it makes damn good coffee. You’ll save so much money… and it will make going to a café even more chic and special.
Take a day off. This year I am committing to one full day off per week. No matter what deadlines are due or how busy my life is, I am taking Sundays off. No writing, no schoolwork, no nothing. Just a planless day.
But save watching tv for weeknights. Sometimes I get caught in a trap where I spend my entire day off just watching tv, this is sad. And depressing. So I’m trying to actually do something fun on my days off (even if that’s just playing video games or reading a shitty book or baking) and save the mindless tv watching for weekday evenings when I really just want to shut my brain off.
Don’t buy the best of everything. Last year I got caught up in a trap of buying the highest quality stuff because I reasoned it would last longer and eventually save me money, plus it’s usually better for the environment to buy the better quality shit. I still believe this. I still buy good shoes, good technology items and fair trade coffee. However, I also buy the cheap shampoo and conditioner, cheap food, cheap drinks. When you’re forty and eating at the best restaurants and buying 40 euro moisturisers you’ll miss these days of frozen pizza and making a bottle of perfume last like, 14 months.
Strike up conversation with randos. I’ve challenged myself to start one conversation with a stranger every day and goddamn it makes me so happy. I started with complimenting a girl’s shoes on the luas and she beamed at me and told me her boyfriend picked them out for her, she couldn’t believe it. Yesterday, I went to the academic registery (anyone who goes to Trinity will understand why its miracle this happened) and I ended up chatting to the guy who worked there for about ten minutes. It went from a boring form signing chore to someone sharing their knowledge of New York and wishing me well on my trip. None of us can shut up about how communities are disappearing yet we’re all terrified just talk to each other. It’s really scary to go up to a stranger and just start chatting to them but I promise, they will be delighted you did. And you will too. Be the weird girl on the luas!!
Read this list. It changed my life. Especially number 24. and 65.
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